~DeathNote~

Tonight really enjoyed myself alot =)

I meet up dearz, Alvin, Koon and Theo at Bugis for dinner at Lai Lai.

I guessed the company of Alvin,Koon and Theo was pretty great as I keep laughing especially when they was making fun of Koon =X and some topic was pretty funny hehe. They was pretty good fun too =)

At Lai Lai, me and dearz makan while the other order drinks and for Alvin soup. As usual, they was chatting over some topics which was pretty interesting to me haha so I listened and laugh haha..

After dinner, we went to Arcade lolz... I tio trashed by some pros ~~ haha. We was at the arcade for quite a while before we left for Maxwell.

We went to MOX and joined Desmurn and Eric at their table, all of us was chattin a lot and then I purposely challenge Desmurn and Koon to finish their drink in one sip haha ... Desmurn was drinking 'Sex on the beach' while Koon was taking 'Graveyard' and for me 'Long Island Tea' haha .... In the end, both Desmurn and Koon face red red =x and follow on by Koon getting high. Me, Alvin and dearz keep laughing cuz we was teasing Koon which was pretty mean la lolz.

I think I really wish to thanks everyone for everything tonight. I truly enjoyed myself after such a long while that I did not go clubbing.

Lazy to narrate what happened the whole night ~ Guessed that while I enjoying myself, afew of my friends are not doing well so I truly wish to tell them here, no worry ok... whatever it is, I am here for u guys just as the same that u guys are there for me when I am down too =)

=) happy mood today ! Hope of my friends can be happy too ~~ !! Hugz for everyone and a Muackz for my dearz haha !!!

I guessed with the recent events... this really help to take my mind off them ~~

End of the moonlight

Oblivion

Today is not really a very nice day for a start...

My house phone was ringing at early morning around 5am plus. I answered the phone call with some hesitation as I had this phobia of receiving early morning phone call.The main reason is that from my past experience, most of the time early morning phone is always to inform us that someone in the family just passed away or in critical condition.

As expected somehow, the phone call was from Ren Ci informing us that my uncle just passed away in the home.

My uncle (mother younger brother) is the 2nd youngest in my mum family and from young he got down syndrome and alot of other medical problem. My mother was very emotional after I told her as recently she had some argument on my uncle issue with her other siblings and was thinking to bring him home to take care of him. So with this sudden death of my uncle, she was quite emotional unstable.

I taken leave for today as mum was feeling very lost and she really do not know what to do. So I got to call and inform my other aunties and uncles first then make arrangement to meet them at Ren Ci. It been really hectic and quite a headache for me as mum was easily irritated and she start picking on every little thing.

We reached Ren Ci around 8:20am and I go over to my uncle bed and saw that they left my uncle body on the bed in an awkward position. So I went to check with the nurse and their head nurse quickly came and explained to me that as my uncle death was a sudden death, they got to make police report and so they cannot shift or touch my uncle body. For now, we cannot claim my uncle body until the coroner identify the reason for my uncle death.

In the end, we waited one hour plus for the police officers and after settling everything it was around 11am plus. Mum was still very easily irritated.

So I spend the rest of the afternoon, helping her to make arrangement for my uncle such as arranging where to go for cremation and since my uncle got no child, wife or friends, there will be no wake.

On the other hand, mum keep asking me to paint the ceiling for my house... I am like so stressed up because she expecting it to be done immediately and think that it can be done in a hour or so... I was like DUHZ !#)(*!#)( but then I bear with it and let her nag at me the whole afternoon until she sleep.

After everything, I was so mentally tired and since mum was already sleeping after taking her medication for her flu. So I also went for a nap ~~ Haiz...

Sometime I wonder, after a person death and yet there is so much things to iron out with their own siblings or children. They can even almost come to blows or fierce arguement over some old matters...

I think I was pretty worried as I understand that my mum is someone who cannot put the past behind her. There was some tension when she was discussing with my aunties over my uncle stuff while I was there pretty uptight over it.

This year CNY, I cannot go house visit le ~ since my uncle just passed away. So this year CNY, I can only stay home but if anyone of you wanna come over it is still alright =).

Feeling tired ... mentally...

It been an eventful weekend...

Was a nice weekend but somehow I am mentally drained without understanding why...

Yesterday agency function was nice, thanks to all the nice colleagues =) and especially boss... The agency is so much like one big big family.

I am just like the little brother there where everyone helps me along the way and I can sense a lot of care and concern among each individual there.

It appear of a big contrast from the world that I thought of when I going to start work... Perhaps during NS, I saw too much office politics in work but now I am glad that this new working environment is not that bad.... =)

Someone cried to me today... In my heart, I was thinking that it was not a big problem and truly I never blame him or so but then it bite me slowly and slowly. I think for him it is always good to forget about the past at time.

For me personally, I do not wish to forget my past... I am not ashamed of my past, people grow from their past mistakes and why do I fear of my past ? Perhaps I do not know how to think for others or myself in the past but I am slowly looking forward and changing as I go on...

It been raining the whole day... my poor foot been wet the whole day too... sob... ~ haha

Over the weekend,

Someone shout in frustration,
Someone angry,
Someone cried,   
Someone smile,
Someone laugh,
Someone frown,

*all cuz of me ~

Unexpected meeting of friends, that I am real delighted with.

In all, an eventful and yet happy wkend.

Thanks to Alvin for yesterday night invitation =)
Thanks for Raymond for riding me down to town to meet my dearz yesterday night =)
Thanks to Bryant and Luke for the fun mahjong session on saturday noon and yesterday night chatting plus the 2 album of songs =) 
Thanks Josh for accompanying me the whole morning playing dota, it been nice to catch up with you with my dearz.

lolz I am so naggy ~~ Thanks everyone haha

Now at office so early, it is the starting of the week but yet I am looking forward to Friday ~~

Not because that I wish to rest or enjoy but this friday and saturday, I already plan to spend both day with my dearz ~~ that why looking forward to it alot hehe ~~

Mum and Dad been nagging me over the wkend :x . I think it is the time when they are expecting me to give them the reply to their question which is 'Going or not going to London'. I think I will tell them this thursday ' I not going' so let see what will be the outcome.

Called god brother on saturday, he told me that my god mother is not feeling well recently again. It is a habit of me to go over to visit her once a month, it doesn't matter how busy I am, I will still make time out for her. Think I gonna visit her this week ~~ Really missed her and her cooking =P ~ plus my 2 cute nieces and my god brothers and sister =)

Hmm ending here ba ~~ think this is a pretty crappy entry cuz I just typing it out of boredom Hehe ... just joking... i better start doing my work else 'boss' will increase my work load sooN ~~~

Getting more used to my job scope =)

I signed my contract le ~... company also give me my security pass le ~

Boss is nice, colleagues around are helpful and nice too. My colleagues are all pretty fun ~ gossip here and  there. They always joke around and yesterday one of them make me surprise when they ask me I meet boy friend or girl friend for lunch haha =). I am pretty satisfied with my 'working life'

'Love life' never been better =), recently I just feel that we are heading back to our honeymoon period again ~~ So sweet for me !! 

Thanks to my beloved dearz ~ I really appreciate you for everything you done for me, and of course the certain thing that you sacrifice at time just to spend more time with me.

R/s with own family is not really improving much instead recently got quite a bit of tension around. Especially the 'London study' issue, which is really creating much unnecessary tension for me and them. 

I missed certain people, hope to meet them soon also. 

Time to sleep =) nitez nitez !

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing, you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Doing a quick entry... left 3 mins.....

Just helping a friend to ask... he wanna sell his starhub voucher of $200 value for $150. Expiry date is end of this year...

Just sms/calll or leave comments but best is to call me !!!

Remember .. I do not answer private calls haha... so do not use private number to call me

I hate this !~ Aww so tired gotta collapse soon !! 

I went to sleep awhile in the morning since I did not catch a single wink last night.

 

I wake up around 12 plus in the afternoon and daddy asked me to eat something but was not feeling hungry so rejected his offer to cook for me. He kind of unhappy with it, I feel bad but really do not have the urge to eat.

After washing up, I was chatting online with some friends. Somehow while chatting with hammy_porklet, we make a last minute arrangement to meet up at PS Mac.

Meet up hammy porklet at Mac, poor him waiting for me around 15-20 minutes as the timing was quite tight and I already expected to be late haha…

 

Thanks to him, I feel better after chatting with him over a drink and fries. I realized certain stuffs that I would not be able to see it on my own.

 

Shortly after, airborne67 come and meet us, he was meeting hammy_porklet for dinner. Roughly around the same time, Fabian appeared too as he got a dinner appointment with me and mentaray tonight.

 

So 4 of us spilt into group of 2, me and Fabian go for a walk around as we were still waiting for mentaray while they went for their dinner. We went Daiso to shop for Fabian stationeries, mentaray called me when we were queuing to pay for the items to inform me that he is walking over from his office already.

 

We go straight to the food court to meet up mentaray and for dinner we ordered 2 fried sliced fish steamboat from the well know stall at the food court.

 

airborne67 & hammy_porklet come shortly to find us after they finished their dinner haha and Kenneth joined us too. There was a short intro for all of them and we realized that actually they know each other somehow or other haha the world is so small :p

 

There was a pretty nice chat going on at first but Kenneth and airborne67 was kind of left out later when me, Fabian, hammy_porklet and mentaray was chatting about NS reservist. They were kind of left out because for 4 of us we had our NS in SPF and so that why :p

 

I was expecting the atmosphere might get awkward but it turn out to be nice and fun lolz. Everyone was laughing due to mentaray & hammy_porklet laughter plus mentaray merlion act haha especially when we was at Swenson after the dinner for some dessert. (Someone so unglam today :p)

It was also funny and entertaining with airborne67 joke, remarks and comments when we was choosing the ice cream flavors for the Earthquake… because quite a lot of the flavors that we like to order is not available and the poor waitress got to wait for us finish picking which few flavors while we are laughing

In all, I really enjoyed the evening with them. Thanks to hammy_porklet treat of drink at Mac and airborne67 kind offer to treat me for Swenson. =) and Kenneth nice act of giving me a tissue haha and of coz to everyone for the great time =).

Feeling more cheerful now =) ! I will post up the photos taken at Swenson soon because my idiot USB cable is not working well with my Hp now. =(  

PS: haha almost forget to mention, it been a EYES opener for me when Fabian & hammy_porklet use their tongue to tie a knot on the cherry stalk and super amazing tongue tricks by hammy_porklet too !! That was really O.O ~~!! Haha

airborne67
hammy_porklet
mentaray

Cute boi ~ singing this song for his 2 fathers ~~ I like the boi =P. I not sure he is singing in Dutch or Portuguese...

PS: just saw that alvin already posted this video, hehe my dearz showed me this url link so muz be him saw on alvin blog :p Sorry ah ~

I had thought that by keeping myself occupied with work and other stuffs, it might help me to put it totally into the past.

In the end, I realized that I was just deceiving myself, whenever I come to places that we used to frequent, those memories just flood my mind.

He plays a major role in my life, someone that is very close to me but just because of one misunderstanding it create a lot of hurts for him, me and the other close friends of our.

I recalled that this sentence ‘why because of one minor incident/argument or so, u would wish to put the future of the whole relationship into the dump’ as mentioned by a friend the other day.

Because we were young, we never understand what the rationale behind our actions and both was stubborn on our own stand and so that relationship just halts right at that point until the day I received a call from his mum.

It was too late to regret but truthfully speaking, both of us was given chances but either of us make the move to resolve it until the very last moment and it just ended abruptly to me.

Guess that it was hard to accept this from the start... haiz

Was suppose to go on a hike today with fruits platter group...

Heavy rain spoil the plan, end up staying at home.

Give my doggy a shower, brush her and then cut some stray furs ~~

Helped out mother by cleaning the house for her, wiping the floor and other tedious stuff ~ Oh it is a nice workout lolz... 

mangoboi & dragovianboi come over for dinner with me and my family since mummy say she want to play mahjong so asked me to call them =) 

After dinner, played 1 round of mahjong with them. I won 20 bucks ~ 

After mahjong, mentaray drive over my house to pick the 3 of us to go down Changi village and bite abit of food before we go over Changi Broadwalk to take a short walk. 

After that, mangoboi & dragovianboi come over my house to stay over. Both sleeping le ~ ~ 

I am thinking of a gd friend, a brother, a buddy and teammate now, unable to sleep. I missed him, I wondering what he will be doing now if he is still alive.

The other day, while waiting for mentaray to fetch me at the road junction down my house, it is where I used to walk with him together. The little shortcut just across my house which lead to his home. 

After that day I been thinking of him again.  It had been near a year and a half that he left ... 

Somehow I still missed him but then he is gone forever, I definitely missed his voice, those 9 yrs of friendships, those night when we sleep side by side and we share our happiness, sadness and so on.

I thought that I let go of him already but... 

Haiz, reading the last and only letter that he left for me, I really really regret that I was not with him at his last moment. 

Up to now, I still blame myself for being so stubborn on my stand ! Why I did not give in haiz ....

I know this is not the first time that I blogged this but I am seriously unable to let go... 9 yrs together, my best partner in the school team badminton double, my gd friend, my sworn brother and many more..  

Life is cruel !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am finally free of national service today.

 

I think I will miss a lot of people over my dept.

 

Now thinking back of the time that I was with them, honestly speaking they treated me pretty well except for 1 or 2 guys that always get me pissed off due to their nonchalant attitude in my office.

 

Hope that all things will progress smoothly for me now… I am pretty worried about my dearz now. He smsed me at 1:30 am to check whether I was sleeping already, and apparently I was playing Dota with mentaray. I had a short sms conversation with dearz and get to know that his cough is getting worse since he describe his cough now as 'coughing like shit now'.

 

I am kind of worried for him because he got a sensitive nose and now his cough is getting worse also plus the cough have been with him since last week.

Hope his cough will be gone soon. Now I got to go to bed, before I myself get sick too. Well cannot expect two sick persons to help to take care of each other dun it…

At this moment, I posting this entry with a heavy heart, frustrated over certain issue.

I wish to clarify this issue; I never hated anyone truly except for one person. Which I do not wish to narrate much on this and so that the end to this part... 

Regarding dislikes and liking of a person, well I am not a person that will tend to dislike others just base on their physical outlook or what I heard of them from other sources. For me, I will prefer to know them personally and slowly get to know more about them as a friend. I do not deny that sometimes, what other say is true as what a Chinese saying ‘空穴不来风’ mean but it is just me that I wish to view it with my own eyes and personally experienced it.

Sometime, I might behave abnormally in the sense that I become redrawn, quiet or even aloof with some people. It is not because that I do not like them or so, but it is just when a particular situation is playing that I will show such behavior.

For some people, whatever tat happened in the past just cast a shadow over the friendship which make it awkward that why I tend to be quiet when this people are around or subconsciously avoiding them as I do not know how to react or communicate with them and It is just awkward for me at those moments. It does not mean that I dislike u or worse… I hate u.

I feel that it is tiring to hate or even to remain angry over someone or a particular matter for a long period of time, therefore I am not a person who will really hate or flared up at certain people.

This is quite contradicting since I admitted that I do hate someone but well ‘hate’ is a heavy word… I would rather choose to say that I just cannot find any reason for me to forgive him that all.

This is what I wish to express… perhaps my actions do not appear to show it but my intention was never heading to that direction. Probably it was just me not being considerate enough or plainly not thinking more deeply into it.

No one is perfect, I am not a perfect work of god too. I definitely have my flaws…

Side tracking from this, Today is my last day of NS !! Finally I can shout ‘ORD LO’ =) . Reaching another junction of life, it is another major decision making period again.

Very shag.. It is time to go to bed and sleep. I got to go back to my office after another 2 hours sleep. ~

Today, went for joggin with mentaray after waking up at 2pm... was kinda tired... since did not sleep much the day before...

Sorry to dragovianboi & mangoboi becuz suppose to meet them at 1pm at Harbourfront to go Sentosa... but too tired I overslept.. including mentaray ... haha so I not alone to bear the fault =X .. no la haha

After joggin an hour with mentaray, both of us went separate way home and get ready to go down NINES by 7pm to meet  dragovianboi & mangoboi to visit Michael and Simon also to give NINES a farewell =X 

Finally saw Simon =), hugged him and chatted with him and Michael for awhile.

Very long time never attend coffee outing, so many people lolz =X 

Stayed there until 9plus, left with mentaray to go down to orchard as he need to pass his friends some stuff. 

Walked to Lucky Plaza from Specialist Shopping center, where mentaray parked his bike. 

Kekez meet up mentaray friends -> Austin, Troy, Adam, Andrew, Desmurn & two other friends that I did not get to know their names so Sorry about this... If someone can update me pls do so =)

They are pretty fun group, haha althought it was my first time meeting up with them but we played afew interesting game like 'black magic', 'open,close' , 'around the world in 80 days' and the number game that I played with them. 

Lolz they even rank the game according to lamness haha ... lucky mine game was inbetween =X 

I guess we played for quite some time at the Macdonald at Lucky Plaza... until 12plus before everyone left for home. 

I and mentaray left to Pasir Ris the 24 hours coffeeshop for a short bite (me bite la cuz I did not makan the whole day except for one meal after my jog) then he drop me home ~~

Really glad to know them =) ~~ Ta Da ~~ 

Sometime I may appear aloof, it is not meant to be, simply becuz I do not know how to react ... my best friend knew me best... he know what kind of  situation... 

=)